Beer Garden in November & a Prize-fightin' Man

To continue a theme, graduate school ruined my autumn. I missed all the good weather (or at least the appropriately timed good weather), missed all the good television premiers (and discovered On Demand too late), missed all the epic nights that were had by my friends, missed the outdoor flea, and stayed in my apartment waaaay too many days to discuss.

One of the nights that I missed included an apparently lovely evening at the Standard Hotel beer garden under the Highline (also I missed the Highline in general... and got yelled at for it)... so for my first weekend back to life, we decided to brave it despite the chill in the air, so that I could feel like a person who lives in Manhattan. It was cold, so was the beer. The food was delicious. The grill dude was delightful and later gave us free food.

On the negative, everything automated in the restrooms decreed that I was invisible, that I did not exist and that they would not work for me. Multiple times. And then people would say things like, "No, no, try it like this..." And then it would not work for them, because of course, they were trying to convince the material universe that I exist, which I clearly don't, as evidenced by the failure of my autumn 2009 season.

After we fought through our last beers, we decided to head over to Art Bar where it was sure to be warm, if not downright humid.

Hours later, just as last call was happening, two asshats appeared out of nowhere. One of them told me to "scoot over" (I was sitting in a winged armchair... fail) and pretty much sat on my lap. He proceeded to tell us about his difficult childhood as an Irish immigrant who had to move to Georgia because his father was an ex-prize-fighter cum importer/exporter (dear Seinfeld...) necessitating them to move to a port city in the deep south? Plus, I was fully sober at this point so this account is 100% accurate to what he told us--there is no fog in my memory... sadly. He also had the most blindingly shiny wedding ring that I have ever seen in my entire life. It was hypnotizing. At one point, I just completely checked-out of life due to its gleamingness.

I leave you to ponder under what circumstances such a tale would succeed... and shudder.